11 things the Tube Strikes taught us this week

After two days of tube strikes at Savoo we officially hate London transport. Tears have been shed, blisters have developed, and our famous British reserve has been totally abandoned in favour of shoving old ladies out of the way to get the last place on the train. But don’t worry, valuable lessons have been learnt from this traumatic experience. So sit back, put the kettle on, and discover 11 things the tube strikes might have taught you… just in time for the three day strike planned for next week.

1) Citymapper is your new best friend

If you haven’t already downloaded the Citymapper app, where have you been! The saviour of drunken people at 3am stuck in the wrong part of London, Citymapper will weigh up all the transport types to tell you the fastest route: whether it’s walking, driving, catching the tube or getting the bus. Citymapper, we love you.
2) Boris Bikes are great

Ordinarily the idea of cycling into work leaves us whimpering in terror. Heavy traffic, angry drivers and mind boggling junctions all combine to drive fear through the hearts of inexperienced cyclists. But during the tube strikes we should all man-up, dig out a copy of the Highway Code and hop on a Boris Bike (use the Barclay’s app to find unused bikes all over the city). 

3) Water buses are even better

Still don’t fancy braving a bike? I have two words for you: River Travel. At the touch of your Oyster YOU could be one of these smug businessmen wearing sunglasses, reading the paper and laughing at all those poor sods trapped on buses in rush hour. 

4) But London is actually great by foot

Are you one of those Londoners always complaining that you never get to appreciate the city because you are too busy and important for that tourist stuff? Well now’s your chance to embrace the tube strikes, strap on a pair of comfy trainers and join the tourists in their excited gawping with this handy walking map. You know you want to.

5) You will get mind-numbingly bored

As you frantically search Twitter, Google Maps and the aforementioned Citymapper for a new route to work your phone battery will probably plummet from fully charged to nothing in a matter of hours. Don’t waste valuable juice by playing Candy Crush or Solitaire on the Tube; be prepared for potential mind numbing boredom and pack a book (and possibly some snacks).

6) You will perfect your resting bitch face

Resting Bitch Face is is a real phenomenon coined by comedian Taylor Orci for people who naturally appear angry for no reason. Look around during the Tube Strikes for Resting Bitch Face in action. You are probably doing it yourself right now.

7) British reserve goes out the window

Think the British are good at queuing? Wrong! Head to the underground at Paddington during the tube strikes and witness a scrum that would put world class rugby players to shame. Oh and that famous British politeness? Totally abandoned in favour of passive aggressive swearing under your breath.
8) You can get cheap coffee

A café in Holborn sparked national outrage by refusing to serve RMT members and offering a 10% discount to everyone else. Owners were quick to issue an apology after people took to Twitter in outrage, but we reckon you can’t argue with cheap coffee.
9) You may as well work from home

Picture the scene: it takes you an hour and a half to get into the office. When you arrive you spend another hour moaning about the journey, and after some half-hearted attempt at work you slope off early to ‘avoid the rush’. So why not cut your losses, stay in your pyjamas and work from the comfort of your sofa in front of Jeremy Kyle.

10) In fact you may as well just leave the country

Can’t face the whole fiasco again in five days’ time? Leave the tube strikes far behind you and book a last minute break out of London next week. Drink a beer, get some sun. Pretty soon the horror of being stuffed into someone’s armpit will just be a distant memory.

11) There’s more important things going on in the world

But the number one lesson we learnt from the strikes is that there are far more important things going on in the world than whether you can get to work on time, as aptly summed up by this sobering tweet from Save the Children. Let’s face it- it could be worse.

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