After two days of tube strikes at Savoo we officially hate London transport. Tears have been shed, blisters have developed, and our famous British reserve has been totally abandoned in favour of shoving old ladies out of the way to get the last place on the train. But don’t worry, valuable lessons have been learnt from this traumatic experience. So sit back, put the kettle on, and discover 11 things the tube strikes might have taught you… just in time for the three day strike planned for next week.
Ordinarily the idea of cycling into work leaves us whimpering in terror. Heavy traffic, angry drivers and mind boggling junctions all combine to drive fear through the hearts of inexperienced cyclists. But during the tube strikes we should all man-up, dig out a copy of the Highway Code and hop on a Boris Bike (use the Barclay’s app to find unused bikes all over the city).
Still don’t fancy braving a bike? I have two words for you: River Travel. At the touch of your Oyster YOU could be one of these smug businessmen wearing sunglasses, reading the paper and laughing at all those poor sods trapped on buses in rush hour.
Are you one of those Londoners always complaining that you never get to appreciate the city because you are too busy and important for that tourist stuff? Well now’s your chance to embrace the tube strikes, strap on a pair of comfy trainers and join the tourists in their excited gawping with this handy walking map. You know you want to.
As you frantically search Twitter, Google Maps and the aforementioned Citymapper for a new route to work your phone battery will probably plummet from fully charged to nothing in a matter of hours. Don’t waste valuable juice by playing Candy Crush or Solitaire on the Tube; be prepared for potential mind numbing boredom and pack a book (and possibly some snacks).
Resting Bitch Face is is a real phenomenon coined by comedian Taylor Orci for people who naturally appear angry for no reason. Look around during the Tube Strikes for Resting Bitch Face in action. You are probably doing it yourself right now.
Picture the scene: it takes you an hour and a half to get into the office. When you arrive you spend another hour moaning about the journey, and after some half-hearted attempt at work you slope off early to ‘avoid the rush’. So why not cut your losses, stay in your pyjamas and work from the comfort of your sofa in front of Jeremy Kyle.
Can’t face the whole fiasco again in five days’ time? Leave the tube strikes far behind you and book a last minute break out of London next week. Drink a beer, get some sun. Pretty soon the horror of being stuffed into someone’s armpit will just be a distant memory.