24 thoughts we all have whilst shopping in Primark

It’s a Saturday afternoon, you’ve basically just had a breakdown over the prices in Topshop and you’re desperate to get a shopping fix that doesn’t involve a declined card because this week has been hard and you deserve new things.

So you do it, you venture into Primark and you have ALL the emotions.

  1. Really need some new tights, might just do a quick run into Primark.
  2. Sweet frigging Lord. So many people, so much mess, so many unsupervised children. What sort of living hell is this?
  3. Oooh £1 candles. I’ll buy five. All in vanilla.
  4. Hey this jacket is amazing, it looks exactly like the one I saw in Topshop last week but £50 less. Now, do I want size 6, 18, or 20? Hmmm. Decisions.
  5. Oh, but this t-shirt’s really pretty and simple and elegant and… Oh, it has a big glittery butterly on the back. Of course.
  6. Now is there a mirror so I can see if this size 6 coat is really obviously too small? Mirror? Mirror anywhere? Mirror? MIRROR?
  7. MY ANKLE. Thanks, lady carrying 17 items who just rammed her twins’ pushchair into me, appreciate it.
  8. In fact, you’re just lucky I’m too British and middle class to say anything. Try not to cry. Try not to cry. Try not to cry.
  9. Right, definitely going to get myself a fresh set of button-up fleece Christmas pyjamas now. I deserve these, they are a life necessity.
  10. Wait hang on, is that a…? No, no it can’t be. A sale section in Primark? Surely not, like, what do they even sell in it? £1 dresses?
  11. I reckon I’ve probably seen neater jumble sales than the accessories section in here. Yup.
  12. Ooooh, nude t-shirt bras for £2.50, I better buy a few. My boyfriend is one heck of a lucky guy.
  13. And maybe i’ll buy this itchy fake lace bra thingy too, just to balance out all the granny ones. Although, yeah, better try it on in case it makes my boobs like droopy pancakes.
  14. WHY IS THERE AT LEAST 17 PEOPLE IN THE QUEUE? What? Who? How? What is this cruel, cruel world we live in?
  15. There is a LOT of sheer floral shirts in there isn’t there? Is that still a thing?
  16. Also, it’s very hot in here isn’t it? I’m getting quite sweaty. Oh my God, I bet I’ve got a back sweat patch. I wonder if people can see it? Are those teenage girls laughing and whispering about my back sweat patch? This is the absolute worst. Someone take me home.
  17. OH MY GOD CHRISTMAS JUMPERS, CHRISTMAS JUMPERS. How many should I buy? Is five too many? This is excellent news. What a great day to be alive.
  18. Why are there so many slow tourists and grandmas blocking my route to the Christmas jumpers. Oh come on guys, there’s a light up reindeer nose on actual knitwear and I need to feel him in my hands.
  19. OK, now let’s just head to the till and we can get out of here and all will be right with the world.
  20. *Waits 22 minutes*
  21. Maybe I don’t need any of this. Do I? No come on, it’s so cheap but do I actually need it? Maybe I should just dump it all in the queue and just buy the tights I came in for.
  22. Yep, that’s exactly what you should do, just think of all the money you’ll save. And OH HELLO, my empty arms feel so light and carefree.
  23. Oh wait, yep, better get some make-up wipes and socks and sweets from next to the till whilst i’m here.
  24. That was exhausting. Is it too early for wine? Maybe i’ll just get a Big Mac and sit on my own somewhere to calm down. Eurgh.

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